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She absolutely refused to even make a half-hearted attempt at an apology. This was the first time with Charis that Jana and I had seen open rebellion raise its ugly head.

We needed to win this confrontation but at what cost? She was just a little girl. Spanking is a God-endorsed form of discipline, especially for cases of rebellion.

Spanking, is something we do for our children not to our children. Rebellion is no trivial matter — even in the heart of a four year old.

I had no choice but to follow the principles and leave the outcome to the Lord. But first, one last appeal.

As I spanked her a third time I felt like an abusive dad. Was this over the top? Would she have bruises? What am I going to do if she still refuses to obey?

After several painful swats I stood her up and asked her again to go and apologize. What happened next totally shocked me.

She bolted back toward me, jumped up in my lap, threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. I was amazed. It really worked.

I believed Biblically that children somehow knew discipline was a sign of love but here I was seeing it in action. We embraced, now with tears running down both our cheeks.

And I assured her of my love for her. Parenting can be tough. But you have to decide at which end you want it to be tough.

Or you can choose the hard way now and enjoy life with your teens and adult children. Often what appears to be the easy way now turns out to be the hard way in the long run.

Physical discipline may well save them from death. She is hugging you to appease you to get you to stop hurting her in the future, and because you have done a horribly unloving thing to her entirely in your own self-interest, you have put the fear in her head that she is without a person to love and protect her in this world.

What the little girl never learns is that this makes her father think the beatings are okay, when what the girl is trying to do is make the beatings STOP.

It never, ever works. It never worked with my father. I hate my father. I always have. I would have been beaten if I told him that, but I always held onto this feeling.

I learned to lie. Hi Molly — I really appreciate the vulnerability and openness in your comments. I know there is no way I can convince you otherwise but let me just assure you that the god you speak of is a man-made monster, not the real God who revealed Himself when He came to earth to suffer at the hands of evil people who beat him — much worse than you or I have endured — to pay the price for my sins and yours.

Jesus Himself said he did not come to condemn john He does not damn people to hell. He is the one who came to rescue folks already going there.

In fact, the Bible clearly says hell was not created for people. They have no business being there.

I obviously did not do a good job of conveying what was happening or you would have understood it was totally different than what you must have endured.

If you are interested in understanding more about the difference between beating a child and proper, loving spanking, would you let me send you a free copy?

No need to write back. If you would like to see it — and I would value your comments on it too — just sign up to get my blog because when it is released I am going to send all subscribers a free copy.

You can then immediately unsubscribe if you like. I just think many of the illustrations in the book might help you understand the heart of God and how a parent can spank while truly loving their child.

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to share your feelings and feel free to write back if you would like to talk about it more.

I agree with Molly. You can get anyone to do anything if you beat them enough. You hurt the most vulnerable. Would you want to recall getting assaulted?

Case in point. I am amazed how you have never met me, nor my daughter yet you understand her and my motives better than we do ourselves.

Your insight is astounding. OK, perhaps I do. The point is that you are making assumptions about people you have never met based upon your own very limited experiences and world view.

We call that prejudice. We call a person who does that a bigot. Is that within the realm of possibility? Could it be that I and my daughter have more insight into what happened and the outcome of the event than you do?

Thanks, Lori. As you can see there are others with different opinions which makes your comment all the more encouraging. I agree with Molly that you completely misinterpreted her behavior, though I do not completely agree with Molly.

I agree that in all likelihood she was trying to appease you. It may not have been so you would not hit her again. It may have been because your anger at her was more painful than the spanking.

In all likelihood you were a good and loving parent and she loves you because of this. However, this does not mean that what you did that day was helpful.

You called it traumatic, and trauma is bad. Children do not experience spankings as loving. You did not have to spank your child to get her to apologize.

All you needed to do was to send her to her room until she apologized. Hitting her until she submitted to your will was not helpful to her.

This increases the risk for a child becoming involved in abusive relationships. You gave no evidence of having done the most important thing that day, asking her why she did not want to apologize.

Maybe she had a good reason. Maybe the relative did things you are not aware of that were inappropriate and hurtful. Or, perhaps she was in a really bad mood and needed a few minutes to calm down.

She could have learned wonderful lessons that day about thinking and talking about feelings and taking a few minutes to calm down.

Instead she had an experience that if repeated enough would be tragic, i. She learned disrespect for her own feelings. She learned to lie to avoid being hit even harder.

All of this could have been avoided and replaced with good lessons if you had talked with her about why she did not want to apologize and given her time to calm down.

There are different degrees and ways of rebelling. If a child says he or she is going outside although you told them not to, or if a child curses at you, it would be very problematic to let them get away with it.

The response does not have to be a spanking. Grounding is a fine punishment if reason fails. A child refusing to apologize to someone she is angry with is a very weak form of rebellion at most.

It is not in the nature of children or adults to follow every command given. In the military it is necessary, but not in civilian life.

As a child psychiatrist I would worry about a child that did everything they were told to do, right away. If all children learned to absolutely obey authority figures, we would still be a colony of England.

Spare the rod, spoil the child has been misinterpreted to mean corporal punishment. The word rod in the bible is not a device of corporal punishment.

The rod of Moses was used to do miracles and rescue the people, not to hit them.. It was also used to guide them.

Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Moses rod was used to guide the people and help them with miracles, it was not used for corporal punishment.

Telling a child that what he or she did is wrong and they should behave differently is providing guidance. Finally, Proverbs was written by primarily, but not exclusively, by Solomon, not God.

That someone got a proverb included in the book of Proverbs does not make it divine wisdom. There is a strange tendency to believe that if someone said something long ago it had to be right.

Even Aristotle, one of the greatest geniuses of all time got some things wrong. For two thousand years people believed that objects fell at a rate proportional to their weight.

He was wrong, as Galileo proved. Hey Robert. In my book I point out that one time you should never spank your child is when you are angry.

A spanking is not an act of anger. Just read the next comment in this series from a woman who was obviously spanked by parents who understood the Biblical method.

None of these are seen by children as loving actions but in reality they all are actions done out of love for the child.

It is the lazy parent who lets them eat what they want, go to school only when they feel like it, sleep as late as they want and who does not love them enough to spank them when they have earned it.

Again, a spanking is not an act of anger or of violence. I would suggest that creates more trauma. In which case, you become the final authority and source of all wisdom.

If I agree with it then I assume it is from God. So, ultimately, I determine what is right, what is wrong.

I give the thumbs up or thumbs down on the entire Bible. After all, none of it was actually written by God Himself. It was all written by men.

I make the book line up with my wisdom. My life experience is just too short to feel I can determine what ultimate truth is.

So, I have chosen to believe that God determined which passages would be included in his word and which ones would not and that he has gone to great lengths to preserve his word for me.

But it has worked pretty well for me. We are on different pages about this issue — and I suspect thousands of others — because I have chosen to not rely ultimately upon my narrow scope of experience to determine what ultimate truth is.

OK, that was kind of a mean joke. Of course we all believe all of our opinions are true — or we would change them. And, you will have no idea of what I mean by spanking unless you read the short book.

No problem. THEN, if you still think it better to send a kid off to his room — and deal with the rejection of that, we can talk. I was spanked as a child and teen and actually looking back I have no bad memories of it.

Yes I remember crying from the pain but also a feeling of renewal. I was spanked at home and at school the cane. I felt that both my parents and my teachers loved me and were wanting to do the best for me.

Other feelings were thouse of embarrassment for having done something wrong and anoyance in myself for doing it. Sometimes I can even recall thinking as I was about to do something that this is wrong and doing it anyway.

I think also that at both home and school, once the cane was administered the issue was over. I always had a feeling of this is a new start.

Thanks for your comment Kristen. Obviously you had parents and teachers who understood the Biblical method of spanking — not an act of anger or retribution.

Rather a very self-controlled act of love used in rare situations of rebellion. Thanks for letting them know it can be a positive experience — as Scripture says.

My brother and i are two years apart and our parents hardly ever spanked us. When i was 13 and bro was 11,we both finially made our First Holy Communions.

The morning of the ceremony,mom dressed me in my poofy,knee length communion dress and veil with the lace anklets and white shoes and bro was in his suit and tie and it was over two hours before the mass.

Bro was playing a video game and i wanted to play also,but he refused and i got very angry and hauled off and punched him in the stomach and he keeled over crying.

After everything got sorted out and he got calmed down,my parents took me to my room and dad sat on the edge of my bed,and took off his belt and doubled it over and ordered me to lay over his lap.

Mom then brought my communion dress all the way up,then pulled down my plastic pants,unpinned my communion diaper,and dad gave me 5 very hard,painful,wacks with the belt on my bare bottom!

After the spanking,mom repinned the diaper on me,pulled up the plastic pants,and we went to the parish.

I cried most of the way there and walked down the aisle with a very sore butt! A choice to not abuse your four year old child.

Is that what the Lord taught you — to be a father who uses God as an excuse or reason to apply unnecessarily harsh discipline?

You should have referred to works of child psychology before attempting this, you should have consulted a specialist, made a conscious effort to understand if it would be the right thing to do.

Why do you recite your proverbs? Are they to make you a better person, or to serve as an excuse for your blind abuse of authority?

I do not believe in any God, but I believe that if He did exist, he would not need an incredibly stupid, biased book Hello, Bible! But your reasoning concerning the reason for that is absolutely laughable; if a volcano eruption just so happens to pass without a single victim, does that mean a volcano eruption is safe?

It is immensely complicated. Your child is fine, but a hundred others are not. Think of that for a moment. It is truly a shame that the followers of something that is supposed to bring out the best in us, are some of the worst people around.

I can only hope that one day religion is exterminated for good and clear, rational thinking prevails over blind fanaticism.

We chatted a bit, much less formally than I normally did on these calls, but I explained why Molly would be coming home with a sore rear and eventually hung up, after agreeing that we needed to meet for coffee soon.

My attention returned to the girls, and I did my best to continue to treat them like any other students.

They bowed their heads for the standard prayers. Then I asked Emily to step outside while I dealt with Molly first.

Molly took up her place over my desk. I felt out the shape of her bottom with the paddle and delivered three scorching hot pops to her bottom. Then I gave her a Kleenex, sent her back to class and ushered in my own wayward daughter.

I felt conflicted — there was no chance she was getting off with just three licks of the paddle before the day was over but I was debating between just pulling her underwear down and thoroughly tanning her hide right then, or continuing to treat her just as a student, then take the belt to her when we got home.

After a few moments of fixing her with my best steely gaze, I came to a decision; a compromise, as it were. Over the desk she went — but I instead of tracing her bottom through her skirt, I flipped it right up and lowered her underwear.

Then she got the same three swats as Molly, just as hard but of course with much less protection. With her clothes replaced, Emily too got a Kleenex and was sent back to class, with a promise that we would be discussing this further later that day.

When we got home from school, Emily did her homework and then over the arm of the couch she went. It was somewhat interesting to see the results of the paddling, something that had never happened before.

My daughter was clearly sore but nonetheless the belt had its say on her hindquarters, as I fully expressed my displeasure at her earlier misbehaviour.

I take school misbehaviour highly seriously and I was making sure she would think twice about disrupting another class.

Finally, as Emily sobbed into the couch, I put the belt away. Then I sent her to bed without supper and hours before her normal bedtime. Probably Molly too.

An interesting story. The dilemma as to whether to go for the over the knee good hiding there then and in the school office or go for the normal school option of the paddle.

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This new pupil, Suzanne, was a slender-built light-haired girl just turned 18, with rather large blue eyes in an innocent-looking face.

Denise soon found that she could get along quite well with the girl, especially as Suzanne spent most of her time at school, which was not far from the cottage.

But there was one drawback that Denise had not properly considered when, swayed partly by financial considerations but far more by the pressure she found herself under to take a boarder, she had given her consent to Mrs Blakefield, the Headmistress.

Last term Denise had developed a crush on one of the two male teachers at the school. The other was fiftyish, portly and grey-haired, but Henry was 31 with black wavy hair and features as sharp as hers and Denise found him handsome and sympathetic.

So Denise and Henry had to spend much of their spare time taking walks or going to the pub. Sometimes Denise did not return home until ten or even later at night, leaving the girl to manage on her own.

Denise had no misgivings about whether her pretty boarder might take advantage of her frequent absences in the evenings. Only a few weeks after the start of term there came that awful day when everything seemed to go wrong.

In the first gym period many of the girls seemed to be doing their damnedest to make trouble. By the end of her first three lessons Denise felt quite exasperated.

On top of that the headmistress asked Denise to come to her study during lunch and when they met Denise was criticised for lack of control of her classes.

Mrs Blakefield told Denise sharply that she had to make herself more respected among her pupils. Knowing that Suzanne had a choir practice that night Denise invited Henry to come.

She felt she needed him to give her some consolation. The evening went as planned and they had a pleasant time together. Henry did his best to comfort Denise and when he had to leave at nine, with Suzanne expected back within minutes, they kissed goodnight and Denise felt much better She was washing up shortly after Henry had left when she received a telephone call from the choir leader, Miss Rawlinson, who asked why Suzanne had not attended the practice.

Startled, Denise did not want to tell Miss Rawlinson what she at once instinctively suspected. Miss Rawlinson was exceedingly prim and proper and might think her unfit to look after the schoolgirl properly.

All of a sudden she remembered that Suzanne had complained of a headache at breakfast time. She told the choir leader about this and lied that she herself had not been at home, so the girl had probably gone to bed early.

Denise had in fact been in ever since the end of lessons, except for a few minutes when she had popped out to the shop to get some groceries, and she of course knew that Suzanne had left as usual to go to choir practice.

The day which had begun in a miserable way seemed to end as it had started. She finished the clearing up and sat down in the living room to wait. Not until well after half-past nine did she hear the door open and see the mischievous young girl sneak in.

In an abnormally raised voice Denise scolded Suzanne and asked her for an explanation, without telling her what she had discovered. All the tedium of the day came back to her as an oppressive irritation and she felt her nerves snapping.

She shouted at her that she knew she had not been at choir practice at all. And suddenly Suzanne now had to tell her the truth.

During the day Denise had had plenty of time to think about the ways in which she had to change. As a young teacher she felt reluctant to punish pupils herself.

She had sent a few to their form mistresses or to the headmistress herself with a report of their behaviour.

She knew, from what she had seen in the gym what could happen to girls who misbehaved in school. When the tight knickers of the girls PE outfits had ridden up at the back she had noticed that weals were sometimes visible on the lower curves of their trim smooth buttocks, either fresh and swollen or just faint shapes that still unmistakably evidenced the application of a supple cane.

The girl jerked back and her face went from red to ashen grey. Suzanne could scarcely believe what was about to happen to her. Please, Miss Millwater.

Whilst dragging the quaking girl into the small back room Denise looked around to see if she could spot something suitable for the purpose she had in mind, but the clothes brush on the sideboard had no handle and the belt in the raincoat hanging on the back door was made of cloth.

Disappointed at finding nothing appropriate, Denise turned a chair round and sat down. Suzanne did not give up her attempts to get away She writhed and twisted her slender body trying to get free, but to no avail.

It was a matter of moments to position the struggling creature bottom-uppermost across her lap. Upon suddenly finding herself in that childhood posture Suzanne very likely realised that she had nothing to gain by further resistance.

The knickers were a trifle threadbare and faded in colour but they stretched tautly over her cute and deliciously-rounded backside.

An anguished groan came from Suzanne when Denise put her fingers inside the knicker elastic at her right hip. The distraught girl twitched and her right arm shot back in an attempt to prevent the teacher removing her knickers — a prospect which flooded her with fear and shame.

Suzanne snivelled. Her body became limp. She seemed to abandon every sign of resistance, but her long, outstretched slender legs were trembling vibrantly.

Tears of humiliation trickled down her cheeks and dropped to the floor. Her blue knickers had become a scrap of cloth without function down around her calves, on the wrong side of her knees.

Her mother had had her bare bottom turned up in this way on a number of occasions in the past and she thought that the last time really had been the last.

Lately so proud that she had reached the age of 18, Suzanne now for the first time found something horrible about this new numeral. Though Suzanne was well prepared for what was to come and had clear recollections of how it would hurt the spanking started suddenly and came as a shock to her system.

She inhaled sharply, stretched her body and tossed her head back, staring without seeing out of wide-open eyes at the flames of the gas fire.

It did. At least when it was given by a hard-muscled young PE mistress. It did hurt, even if the recipient was an almost grown-up girl in her late teens.

She could not bear to acknowledge to Miss Millwater that a plain hand spanking could make a girl of 18 cry out loud, but she was having real difficulty in maintaining her resolve.

Soon she wept and cried. Her long, slender gazelle-like legs scissored through the air as the entire curvatures of both her rapidly undulating buttocks became bright crimson.

In between wailing from the pain she was suffering, Suzanne constantly pleaded to be let up and let off further series of these loud, sharp slaps that stung her posterior so mercilessly.

When Suzanne was finally set free on tottering legs she continued to weep and sob like a forlorn infant. With fumbling hands she eased her knickers up inside her fallen skirt and then, red-cheeked at both ends, she very regretfully sneaked away up to her room, her pride shattered.

Half an hour later Denise could still hear her crying through the ceiling. Throughout the following week Suzanne appeared to be unusually subdued, and her behaviour was certainly extremely careful.

One evening towards the end of the week, Denise brought home from school a brand new and very supple, thin yellow cane.

She put a nail into the wall behind the kitchen door and hung the cane there by its crook. The menacing-looking cane became a good reminder for Suzanne to watch her behaviour.

We chatted a bit, much less formally than I normally did on these calls, but I explained why Molly would be coming home with a sore rear and eventually hung up, after agreeing that we needed to meet for coffee soon.

My attention returned to the girls, and I did my best to continue to treat them like any other students. They bowed their heads for the standard prayers.

Then I asked Emily to step outside while I dealt with Molly first. Molly took up her place over my desk. I felt out the shape of her bottom with the paddle and delivered three scorching hot pops to her bottom.

Then I gave her a Kleenex, sent her back to class and ushered in my own wayward daughter. I felt conflicted — there was no chance she was getting off with just three licks of the paddle before the day was over but I was debating between just pulling her underwear down and thoroughly tanning her hide right then, or continuing to treat her just as a student, then take the belt to her when we got home.

After a few moments of fixing her with my best steely gaze, I came to a decision; a compromise, as it were. Over the desk she went — but I instead of tracing her bottom through her skirt, I flipped it right up and lowered her underwear.

Then she got the same three swats as Molly, just as hard but of course with much less protection. With her clothes replaced, Emily too got a Kleenex and was sent back to class, with a promise that we would be discussing this further later that day.

When we got home from school, Emily did her homework and then over the arm of the couch she went. It was somewhat interesting to see the results of the paddling, something that had never happened before.

In the military it is necessary, but not in civilian life. As a child psychiatrist I would worry about a child that did everything they were told to do, right away.

If all children learned to absolutely obey authority figures, we would still be a colony of England. Spare the rod, spoil the child has been misinterpreted to mean corporal punishment.

The word rod in the bible is not a device of corporal punishment. The rod of Moses was used to do miracles and rescue the people, not to hit them..

It was also used to guide them. Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. Moses rod was used to guide the people and help them with miracles, it was not used for corporal punishment.

Telling a child that what he or she did is wrong and they should behave differently is providing guidance. Finally, Proverbs was written by primarily, but not exclusively, by Solomon, not God.

That someone got a proverb included in the book of Proverbs does not make it divine wisdom. There is a strange tendency to believe that if someone said something long ago it had to be right.

Even Aristotle, one of the greatest geniuses of all time got some things wrong. For two thousand years people believed that objects fell at a rate proportional to their weight.

He was wrong, as Galileo proved. Hey Robert. In my book I point out that one time you should never spank your child is when you are angry.

A spanking is not an act of anger. Just read the next comment in this series from a woman who was obviously spanked by parents who understood the Biblical method.

None of these are seen by children as loving actions but in reality they all are actions done out of love for the child.

It is the lazy parent who lets them eat what they want, go to school only when they feel like it, sleep as late as they want and who does not love them enough to spank them when they have earned it.

Again, a spanking is not an act of anger or of violence. I would suggest that creates more trauma. In which case, you become the final authority and source of all wisdom.

If I agree with it then I assume it is from God. So, ultimately, I determine what is right, what is wrong.

I give the thumbs up or thumbs down on the entire Bible. After all, none of it was actually written by God Himself. It was all written by men.

I make the book line up with my wisdom. My life experience is just too short to feel I can determine what ultimate truth is. So, I have chosen to believe that God determined which passages would be included in his word and which ones would not and that he has gone to great lengths to preserve his word for me.

But it has worked pretty well for me. We are on different pages about this issue — and I suspect thousands of others — because I have chosen to not rely ultimately upon my narrow scope of experience to determine what ultimate truth is.

OK, that was kind of a mean joke. Of course we all believe all of our opinions are true — or we would change them. And, you will have no idea of what I mean by spanking unless you read the short book.

No problem. THEN, if you still think it better to send a kid off to his room — and deal with the rejection of that, we can talk.

I was spanked as a child and teen and actually looking back I have no bad memories of it. Yes I remember crying from the pain but also a feeling of renewal.

I was spanked at home and at school the cane. I felt that both my parents and my teachers loved me and were wanting to do the best for me.

Other feelings were thouse of embarrassment for having done something wrong and anoyance in myself for doing it. Sometimes I can even recall thinking as I was about to do something that this is wrong and doing it anyway.

I think also that at both home and school, once the cane was administered the issue was over. I always had a feeling of this is a new start.

Thanks for your comment Kristen. Obviously you had parents and teachers who understood the Biblical method of spanking — not an act of anger or retribution.

Rather a very self-controlled act of love used in rare situations of rebellion. Thanks for letting them know it can be a positive experience — as Scripture says.

My brother and i are two years apart and our parents hardly ever spanked us. When i was 13 and bro was 11,we both finially made our First Holy Communions.

The morning of the ceremony,mom dressed me in my poofy,knee length communion dress and veil with the lace anklets and white shoes and bro was in his suit and tie and it was over two hours before the mass.

Bro was playing a video game and i wanted to play also,but he refused and i got very angry and hauled off and punched him in the stomach and he keeled over crying.

After everything got sorted out and he got calmed down,my parents took me to my room and dad sat on the edge of my bed,and took off his belt and doubled it over and ordered me to lay over his lap.

Mom then brought my communion dress all the way up,then pulled down my plastic pants,unpinned my communion diaper,and dad gave me 5 very hard,painful,wacks with the belt on my bare bottom!

After the spanking,mom repinned the diaper on me,pulled up the plastic pants,and we went to the parish. I cried most of the way there and walked down the aisle with a very sore butt!

A choice to not abuse your four year old child. Is that what the Lord taught you — to be a father who uses God as an excuse or reason to apply unnecessarily harsh discipline?

You should have referred to works of child psychology before attempting this, you should have consulted a specialist, made a conscious effort to understand if it would be the right thing to do.

Why do you recite your proverbs? Are they to make you a better person, or to serve as an excuse for your blind abuse of authority?

I do not believe in any God, but I believe that if He did exist, he would not need an incredibly stupid, biased book Hello, Bible!

But your reasoning concerning the reason for that is absolutely laughable; if a volcano eruption just so happens to pass without a single victim, does that mean a volcano eruption is safe?

It is immensely complicated. Your child is fine, but a hundred others are not. Think of that for a moment. It is truly a shame that the followers of something that is supposed to bring out the best in us, are some of the worst people around.

I can only hope that one day religion is exterminated for good and clear, rational thinking prevails over blind fanaticism. It is always wise to define your terms before you start discussing a topic.

Then we can discuss your problems. Can you beat a deal like that? I was spanked as a child and began dating a 19 year old at 14, he was abusive, I thought it came from a place of love — as you say.

I moved onto alcoholic after alcoholic with personal space problems, and me — the try-hard with a physical pain fetish. I started asking for spankings around the time my parents stopped them.

Dear Anna: I am so sorry for the pain you endured. What you describe is abuse — not appropriate spanking.

If you have children it is crucial you understand the difference between appropriate corporal discipline and the type of abuse you endured.

It will help you understand what is Biblical corporal punishment spanking and what is abusive, self-serving violence.

Again, I am so sorry for the abuse you endured but please know that there is a God who knows, cares and loves you. If I can do anything to help you find Him, please contact me again.

Rick Malm. I am actually disturbed by this story and the total power trip hardon it obviously still gives you. Here is the meta analysis of 50 years of scientific research which overwhelmingly demonstrates that spanking children is ineffective in improving behaviour and actually increases the likelihood of aggressive behaviour in later life, as well as the instance of abusive relationships.

I am quite sure though that having written a book on this subject, you are already well aware what the science says and your above claim that spanking has no proven ill effects is purely disingenuous.

What a narcissistic fork-tongued charlatan you are. You abused that vulnerabily in the sickest way for your own personal gratification, to impose your own will on her, and, worse, you still think all these years later that it was right to do it even though your own emotions were signalling, strongly, that it was wrong.

Dear Claire: I am so sorry. Sorry you feel the need to use vulgarities to express your thoughts. Sorry for whatever injustices you experienced that produced such pain and bitterness.

I know this is going to sound patronizing but I mean it sincerely — I hope you are able to find a place of peace and healing from the pain that has produced such anger and unrest in your heart.

Gershoff told me. Obviously, since there is research to confirm it, the statements you make must be true. Furthermore, the experience of parents for centuries, the experience of children for centuries and the teaching of the Bible are obviously flawed.

How could we have missed it so badly for so long? Actually, it is pretty convincing — more convincing in fact, than the research you quote above.

Really, you should check it out. Just be careful. Instead of running to her mom for comfort like she usually did, she ran back into the very arms that had just spanked her so hard.

Your reasoning leaves me a little confused. If she wished to avoid suffering at my hand it seems she would not have run back to me but to her mother.

My daughter now has children older than she was when this incident happened. When I wrote this post I talked with her about it first to get her take on it and ask what was going through her head.

How interesting that one who was not there, does not know the situation or the people involved would be able to assess what happened better than I was — or even better than my daughter the supposed victim.

If you have successfully raised children who are an honor to you and the Lord then I commend you on it.

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2 comments

  1. Visida

    Vollkommen

  2. Tagor

    Sie haben ins Schwarze getroffen. Mir scheint es der ausgezeichnete Gedanke. Ich bin mit Ihnen einverstanden.

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